Army Post Road

This is one of those days when a million thoughts have been whirring through my head but I can't get any of them to cohere. 

As searing as it hurts, I suppose it's only just that I was so despicable and now I can't get a second chance.  I know how I behaved last winter showed nothing but disrepect and a total lack of consideration and now I so singularly and completely want to show that I'm not that horrible person I demonstrated myself to be.  I get a horrible sinking feeling when I think about how beautiful the opportunity was and how all of the fall-out from it wrests entirely upon my shoulders. 

I just pray that I can get a new chance.  I know I can't replace the memories of how I was.  I just want to make enough new memories that the good ones out number the bad.  It's impossible for it all to happen overnight but I'd like to be able to work at it for as long as it takes.