Army Post Road

You never know when you're going to turn the corner and start getting better.  I don't know if I turned that corner a couple of days ago after talking to a friend, if I did it wasn't before I caused even more pain and trouble for myself and someone else, or if that corner is still ahead of me. 

I talked to someone else this morning and she made the point that things don't usually get better until you're in a stable situation and can start looking forward to things ahead of you.  She was very right.  Nothing has been stable since I got arrested.  Hopefully now that it looks like I'm on track to move back to Iowa City in the next month or two that things will start being brighter.  Even if it isn't very detailed when I'm going back, there is at a minimum that no-later-than date of July 1 and there are people there that want to welcome me back. 

I got so embroiled in feeling hurt about so many things that I let myself think about everything far too selfishly.  I was too desperate to be in control of anything that I tried to trade concern and consideration for that control.  While I didn't form my opinions on what I'd been told, but from what I'd observed first hand and been a party to, I didn't handle what I knew very responsibly. 

Someone told me at the beginning of the week that I can't decide whether someone needs to be protected.  Either they'll make their situation work for them or they won't.  I should know that from my relationship last summer. 

Now I hope that the fracture I've caused in this friendship can be repaired. 

I tried to avoid saying it but I'm sorry.  I really am.