Army Post Road

* you will never play professional basketball (that's quite true)

* you swear very well (true again)

* at least one of your cousins holds political office (no cousins, other family extended beyond that and several of them) 

* you think you sing very well (yeah, aren't in show choir for 4 years and chamber and concert for 3 if you don't so :p)

* you have no idea how to make a long story short (why should a story be short)

* you are very good at playing a lot of very bad golf (I don't even play golf so take that for what it is)

* there isn't a huge difference between losing your temper and killing someone (so when I get angry it's a little animated, I'm also in a profession that is centered around killing people and breaking stuff)

* much of your food was boiled (not so much of this applies) 

* you have never hit your head on the ceiling (I have too)

* you spent a good portion of your childhood kneeling (I wasn't raised Catholic so this isn't true)

* you're strangely poetic after a few beers (mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm beer)

* you're poetic a lot (I think mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm beer applies again)

* you will be punched for no good reason…a lot (it happens)

* some punches directed at you are legacies from past generations (Haha so many of you don't understand what this truly means) 

* your sister will punch you because your brother punched her (somethin' like that but yes)

* many of your sisters are Catherine, Elizabeth or Mary…and one is (this one doesn't apply but it very much so does to my extended family)
Mary
Catherine Elizabeth

* someone in your family is incredibly cheap (you don't even know)

* it is more than likely you (Ha, yeah right.  I congratulate myself by spending money pointlessly when I don't spend my entire paycheck before the next one comes)

* you don't know the words but that doesn't stop you from singing (why should it?)

* you can't wait for the other guy to stop talking so you can start talking (This doesn't so much apply to me as it describes my dad's whole aura)

* “Irish Stew” is the euphemism for “boiled leftovers from the fridge” (Uh no)

* you're not nearly as funny as you think you are, but what you lack in talent, you make up for in frequency (mwahahahahaha what do you want me to say about this?)

* there wasn't a huge difference between your last wake and your last kegger party

* you are, or know someone, named “Murph” (Yep)

* if you don't know Murph, then you know “Mac” (Yep)

* if you don't know Murph or Mac, then you know “Sully” (Yep)

* you'll probably also know Sully McMurphy (Sully Murphy, close enough)

* you are genetically incapable of keeping a secret (haha when MSG Heckart told me I was going to have to apply for a Secret clearance I asked him if he'd ever heard of an Irish spy)

* your parents were on a first name basis with everyone at the local emergency room (not mine but my grandparents were)

and last but not least… Being Irish means…