Army Post Road

So my posting regularity has dropped off a bit.  Sorry (if anyone actually reads this anyway, I'm not sure.).  Not a whole lot has happened and I haven't spent a lot of time dwelling on the cerebral stuff that makes posts dramatic.  I think I'm going to go get the ignition interlock installed on MY car when my dad gets back from picking up my sister.  One step closer to driving again.  My car needs to get fixed, but that's a mid-March concern, not a late-February concern.  I still have to pay off the state DOT (bunch of bastards, they're the single largest expense in this whole deal. the insurance and interlock will cost more in the long run but $200 civil penalty? fuck off!) for the civil penalty and for the reinstatement fee and then there's getting my insurance going again (oops, let that lap back in October.  Not as short-sighted a move as say… not getting my registration re-upped??). 

Hey! That sparked a whole new thought tangent! Yay for something to write about.  Who would've thought that a $27 lazy mistake back in August would end up biting me in the ass this big? If I'd gotten my registration back in July or August, would the cop've had real probable cause to stop me back in December?  Also, the other day, I was thinking about how horrible and self-defeating it is to think about what-ifs.  I can't off the top of my head think of anything that's much more paralyzing (at least for me) that that.  I mean, it's ridiculous to think that if I'd made that one thing different or did one thing different, that I would end up at the positive result that I'm lamenting at that moment.  Who knows, maybe if I'd renewed the registration on my car, I would'n't've started dating Grace in earnest, I would've started dating Melissa, Cara, or Jess, my alcoholic streak last fall wouldn't've happened and I wouldn't've gotten pulled over (either time)? Maybe we just cut out the Melissa, Cara, or Jess part of that and say if I'd gotten my registration done in August, the cop wouldn't've had PC to stop me in December and I'd still have my license? Maybe when I'd gone down to the Treasurer's office to re-register, I would've bumped into X (and she either would've been a hot acquaintance and she would've wanted to go out and that or she would've just been some hot chick that I would've charmed on the spot) and I would've started dating her and go back to the idea of having not dated Grace and same result: no OWI.  So now that I've rationalized that the root cause of me getting the OWI goes all the way back to July/August and not getting my car re-registered, I can do what with that? Stick it in my pipe and smoke it? Yep! And that's about it!  See how fruitful it is to let what-ifs run your brain for a second?  Ooooh, and did anybody else see what that brought up to? “What if I hadn't dated Grace?”  If I hadn't dated Grace, would I've not drank myself into the poorhouse and also not become a quasi-alcoholic and not've had my two huge problems (OWI and moving to Des Moines)?  'Cuz if I had my license and still lived in IC, then we all know I'd still be at Cambus, and if I were still at Cambus, live would be perfect, right?  And, if I hadn't dated Grace, would I have started dating someone else?  Even if I had gone ahead and gotten an OWI and lost my apartment, would I be dating someone that I could've moved in with and therefor, STILL be in Iowa City?  All that makes ya think, don't it? But like I said, where does it get me?  A few minutes later in life and a few millimeters of mercury higher on the blood pressure machine, that's all. 

Going ahead with that free-association (all you Freudian and Jungian psych-lovers out there must be getting a hard-on from this post), I am not an alcoholic.  I've got the official evaluation by the guy from Student Health and I've also got the evidence that since the Saturday that Kelli and I went to IC, I have had a total of one beer.  That's one beer in six weeks.  That's even better than the summer of 2003 when I went from the night before I left for AIT to the day after I got back without beer (that was a total of about 5 weeks without beer).  January 8 to February 21 with only one beer.  And you know what? Until I get to Ft Riley or Iowa City, I probably won't have any alcohol.  Yeah, I may have a few beers with my dad (thinking about it, that's a given around St Patrick's Day which OMG is on a Thursday, why can't I be in Iowa City for THAT???) but at most, that'll top out at probably two, maybe three beers at any given time.  And you say, “Why would you say you'd get to drink once you get to Ft Riley?” Because I'm sure just about the entire OPFOR (opposing force, I think we've talked about that before) section wants to get me drunk and it's near a college town (Manhattan, KS) so I'll be hitting that up good and often.  Plus, we're down to a little more than five months until I turn 21 (July 31 folks, guaranteed I will be in Iowa City that week to take advantage of 21 for 21 at multiple places, multiple nights: Jakes, SpoCo, and maybe even Third Base if I can bring myself to go there) so after that point nobody can stop me from drinking off duty. 

Speaking of the OPFOR, SGT Henderson has come into my store a couple times while I've been working.  So now he, SFC Johnson, and SSG Monahan know directly that I'm in Des Moines and not Iowa City.  My appearances at the unit during the week have also probably indicated to MSG Heckart and SFC Wood that I'm not in Iowa City.  Also, when SGT Henderson asked me why I wasn't in IC at school, I told him it was a long, sad story.  Hopefully he won't ask to hear the story at drill this weekend (drill this weekend means I only work 3 nights this week ).  Him knowing would be bad.  He's an MP.  I don't need an MP knowing that I got an OWI.  He's not in an MP duty position, but he's still got the MOS and that worries me what he may decide he's obligated to pass along to CPT George and THAT would be bad. Very bad.  He's the commander, he's an MP, and he's also a full-time Missouri State Trooper so that's three instincts in one that would tell him to yell at me.  At a very bare minimum I would be in the dog house for a loooooong time and at the worse I could get separated from the Army.  Boohoo many of you say but I want to stay in. 

Ok, 6 hour break in between that and this but I'll continue.  I pretty much had my phone tweaked perfect and I go and make a change and now it's back to way less than perfect. Grrrr I guess I know what'll occupy my time tomorrow. 

You know what's funny, I started a CD I was going to fall asleep to thinking I was going to bed soon, but playing with my phone got the best of me and now there's only 14-some minutes left on the CD.  Haha, go figure.  Oh well. I don't think I have much more to say.  I'm tired and way off the thought-train I was on earlier.  I'll leave you with this post.